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Ok time to get raw:
I did not work out today. I didn't even follow a meal plan. In fact I ate like crap just about all day. I am BEYOND exhausted. My entire body hurts. The best way to explain it is I feel like I have the flu. On top of all of that, my mind is an empty fog. I can't think clearly at all and I just feel drained. As dory would say "nothin in my noggin"
This friends is a lot of what a depressive episode feels like. And I've been through more than my fair share of them (being bipolar it comes with the territory)
This time though something is different: It's the strangest feeling. Every time I slipped into a slump like this before I've felt hopeless. Pissed at myself for falling down again and inevitably I start to believe that I'll never amount to anything because this always happens to me.
THIS TIME, as shitty as I feel I know deep down this feeling will pass. I'm a useless zombie of a human today. And I'll hopefully be a little less of a zombie tomorrow. I made this decision for a reason. I have a goal. And a dream. And this time I'm amazed at the fire still burning deep below the surface.
Determination and passion are pretty incredible. For the first time in my life, I know where I'm going. And I'm willingly making the sacrifices it will take to get there. So I'm LETTING myself rest today. And probably tomorrow. Instead of burning myself out getting angry that I'm not making massive steps forward. My body just went through a huge change. It's time to let it adjust. One step backwards, one giant leap forward 🙌🏻🙌🏻 #goalgetter#inspire#cantstopwontstop#dreambig#nevergiveup#depression#mentalhealthawareness#passion#fire#hope#yourehumannotperfect