This is so sad to learn that someone has taken his own life. I usually wonder what the person has been going through to make her want to suicide. Most of the time, it's depression.
Depression is a beast. Depression is a monster. I know what I am talking about because I have been through it.
As for me, depression is not just about feeling low or having a bad day. It's about thinking that you are worthless, purposeless and that nobody cares. It's also feeling lonely. When you are depressed, you feel like it's you against the world, that no matter what you do, things won't get better and feel terribly powerless about. You are in a negative spiral that makes you want to disappear. At some point of time, I felt like my life was done, that I did what I could on this earth, that I failed and that there was no more reason for me to be alive. It wasn't to the point of me trying to take my own life (because, even depressed I still feared God) but still, I had no more interest in others, in myself nor in life in general. But some people dare to take a leap on the other side. This is so sad 😢
It hurts my heart that someone can feel bad to the point that he thinks and chooses death as a solution.
It is hard to find out that people are depressed though. I would show up at work, eat, have conversations with people but I was dying on the inside. You could ask me: "Are you okay?", I would answer that "Yes, I'm okay" because I was. This wasn't a lie, I was physically healthy. Nonetheless, I was spiritually and mentally broken.
What we can learn from it is that, we don't care enough about each other. We have a dozen of tools to communicate with each other but we don't communicate anymore. Go see a friend, call him, take the time to have a conversation with him. This is not because he is putting on a smile that he's not going through hard times. Choose to care, choose to love. Even just a single text can make one feels appreciated. 💜💜💜 #depression#thatmoodswing#testimony#breakdown#encouragement#spreadlove#takecare#mentalhealth#spiritualhealth#loneliness
lonely? ah yes
but it is the flowers an’ the mirrors
of flowers that now meet my
an’ mine shall be a strong loneliness
t’ the depths of my freedom
an’ that, then, shall
remain my song.
-Bob Dylan, 11 outlined epitaphs.
"In the presence of silence, the conditioned self rattles and scratches. It begins to crumble like old leaves or worn rock. If we have courage, we take silence as medicine to cure us. In silence, sacred silence, we stand naked like trees in winter, all our secrets visible under our skin. And like winters trees, we appear dead but are yet alive.
I think it is when we learn silence that birds speak to us."
-Joan Halifax, the Fruitful Darkness
Of all the things I am practicing, the first is silence. This labyrinth, pilgrimage to the center without leaving home; I have been here before and when I lived here I wrote endless poetry and became a photographer, I kept up correspondences and had wild dreams. I also made desperate choices. I know this silence, this loneliness, heavy like a favorite quilt. This place of bird song and flowers and memorizing the symphony of floorboards underfoot, of the branches at the window.
Nothing is barren, you just dont know where to look. This moment is ripe with things which are or will be useful. Pluck it's fruit, taste the bittersweet. And bitter does often accompany sweet; think of berries. This is seasonal nourishment. Soon the time will come for dense starches and spice tea, but not yet.
Turn, turn, turn.
#selflove#selfcare#sellfheal#roses#loneliness vs #solitude#silence#poetry
Sometimes I write things. Especially when I'm sad. Especially when things hit a personal note.
I don't know the details and I make no assumptions. I'm just writing. It's the only thing I can do.
It's raw. It's a little different written here too: the words will never be perfect. It's far too strong an emotion to put into the right words. I'm sorry for this.
Who made you feel like the world wouldn't hear you, no matter how loud you screamed or how many tears you cried?
Did you love them?
Did they love back enough you hoped they'll finally hear you, now?
Or, how sad would it be, if that voice was your own and there was no one who could convince you it was wrong?"
(Did you know you mattered? Even to someone so insignificant?)
Wrote a blog post inspired by one of my favorite @rupikaur_ poems. Link is in the bio. Also I promise one day I will stop posting emo blog posts and sharing pics of my roommate's cat, but in the meantime, here we are. 😂❤
V životě ženy jsou chvíle, kdy se cítí nemilovaná, nepochopená, osamocená... Ne vždy jde o lásku nebo vztahy, tyto pocity se tak nějak sejdou, za více okolností. Řekla bych, že pocit nepochopení je jeden z nejhorších. Žena neví jak se s ním vypořádat, nejradši by křičela: obejmi mě, všímej si mě, buď tu se mnou, nevidíš jak je to pro mě těžký...? Než ji dojde že tyhle pocity osamění nikdo jiný nepochopí, že jde o jakýsi matrix iluzí a že s těmito srdcebolnými trápeními musí zůstat sama, protože i když se nám to nutí ze všech stran, pořád nám nemůže dojít, že na pomoc jsme tady pro sebe vlastně vždycky jen my... My.... Sami.... A samy... #sadness#loneliness#teddybear#tears
Sometime we can get pretty self-absorbed and 💩 on the people who care about us the most… “I’m doing this for ME”, “The only opinion that matters is MINE”, “It’s their problem not MINE”, “If they don’t support ME and MY goal, they can take a hike”. Take the BLINDERS off and see it for what it really is. We asses value by how much time we put into something. Now think about where you spend the majority of your time and how that makes your loved ones feel. When you’re only loyal to yourself, you’ll end up by yourself. No plastic trophy or "validation card" is worth that. It was a lesson I had to learn a few years back and I’ll never make that mistake again. Loneliness is the most terrible poverty. #lifelessons#truth#loyalty#selfabsorbed#loneliness#poverty
Looking at the sunset,thinking about life.
I had no idea who Chester Bennington was, before reading about his suicide today. Recently, I have heard and read about depression, addiction, and people taking their lives more than I have ever had before. Perhaps it is a new awareness, due to having experienced what hopelessness and darkness feel like, not to levels of no return, but enough to think I understand them a bit better. As I have read in a book, the common factor seems to be loneliness. The real one. The one that is inside you and makes everything else disappear. No one should experience that. We should all be able to have a friend, a partner, a family, someone who understand us and allow us to feel what we feel, without judgement, sometimes even without any advice. Just someone who stands by our side, no matter what.
We should all be able to believe that there are sunsets, and there will be sunrises.There is darkness, but there will be light. And sometimes life is just that, nothing else#life#hope#loneliness#amanecer#laposadadelsol#righthererightnow#formentera#sunsetsandsunrises#friends